I was still a newlywed and certainly wasn't to the point where I felt comfortable yelling, "I'm going to shit my pants any second! " But the sweating had started, which was followed by the tears. "I'm not feeling well, and need to get home, " I told him." Ok, but I have to obey the speed limit because of all the kids in the neighborhood, " he replied. I was pleading with him to hurry up when he came to a complete stop. I screamed at him, "Why are we stopping?" He rolled down the window. "Retreat."I could see the flag lowering in the distance, the beautiful orange sun setting behind it. In the opposite direction I could see the roof line of our home - so close, yet so far away. As Retreat played, I surrendered. I pooped my pants. I took one for the flag. Now that's patriotism. . Mollie Gross
A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.
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Jane Austen
What's this?" he demanded, looking from Clary to his companions, as if they might know what she was doing there." It's a girl, " Jace said, recovering his composure. "Surely you've seen girls before, Alec. Your sister Isabelle is one.
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Cassandra Clare
Welcome to the wonderful world of jealousy, he thought. For the price of admission, you get a splitting headache, a nearly irresistable urge to commit murder, and an inferiority complex. Yippee.
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J.r. Ward
I'm saying that I'm a moody, insecure, narrow-minded, jealous, borderline homicidal bitch, and I want you to promise me that you're okay with that, because it's who I am, and you're what I need.
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Jeaniene Frost
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
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Charles M. Schulz
More Quotes By Mollie Gross
Before we left home, my hair had already started to fall apart. I decided to pull it into a bun high on my head and attach one of those fake hair things that look like a nest of cute curls. I slapped a tiara on...
I found myself surrounded by really old veterans wearing hats that said, "Retired Marine - SEMPER FI." These hats didn't appear to fit on their heads, but instead seemed to hover over them. At one point, I mistakenly tried to take the last box of...
It seemed harmless enough until she misplaced her "Dildo" and started calling the neighbors to ask if she could borrow one of theirs!
Grandma, everyone out here is bleaching their anuses. What do I do?" Her advice? "Baby, go outside in the sun and squirt a little lemon juice on it.
During our visit, we noticed she was mixing up words. She started referring to Muslims as Mormons. After 9/11, she told Jon and me how it was important for America to stop the radical Mormons because they had perpetrated the attacks on the Twin Towers.There...
